Which Big Brother Housemate Are You?

Dunno...it seemed like a laugh! I can't sing but want a pop career...hopefully a stint on BB will make me the next Kylie... I wanna be a glamour model. End of. (Michelle, BB5) I want to be a celebrity celebrity impersonator! I'm looking for lurve...or at least a summer fling.

A box. I'm a present well worth unwrapping! Anything that's tight, sexy and fun, if I've got it, why not flaunt it? As much face metal and as little hair as possible... Something 'posh' and a huge pout. I need to look my best for the waiting paparazzi! Whatever Big Brother wants me to wear...I just want to get into the House!

A younger man I can share my sexual expertise with. I doubt they'll be anyone man enough for me! I can take care of myself you know. A Daivd Beckham lookalike...or failing that a former third rate popstar. I'll snog anyone or anything - even if it's not entirely alive! I'm not too fussed, it's the experience that matters.

I heard some of them housemates chatting about me behind my back and you'd better know yourself if you're talking about me... My best buddy has just been voted off and I'm unhappy about it. They just broke my heart. Again. They took my fags off the shopping list. Backstabber. They tried it on with my man without realising I was watching.

Dress them down loudly (from a distance) and then walk off so as to have the last killer line. Get naked and instigate a stripping session. It's a winning tactic. I like to think I'd walk away. Point agressively into the antagonist's face and give them what for. Scream and walk away...and then scream again...and then run to the diary room so that you can scream at Big Brother.

As a chicken loving, naked jacuzzi hating bunny boiler. As a fan of wine bottles. As one half of a Big Brother super couple. As one of the zaniest housemates ever... or possibly the one with the most piercings. As the girl who proved that you can have a double barrelled surname and still be a ghetto princess.

I become best friends with Charlie Brooker and become a celebrated novellist. I become the celebrity celebrity impersonator of my dreams and become a hit with the lads mags. I surpass my dreams by not only joining the circus but by momentarily becoming the next big thing in the adult entertainment industry. I take singing lessons for the next five years so that when the time comes for me to reenter the Big Brother House, I can sing 'Pie Jesus' without having to emulate Lauren Hill. I tour nightclubs, universitys and schools before landing a role in the a film about curry.