Just What Kind Of An Asshole Are You?

you yell, "whoa grannie," then help her up you laugh so hard you give yourself a hernia you make it into an anti-health care reform talking point you snicker, then help her get up you start an organization for the prevention of grannies falling down

You ask her to join the coalition of the willing You offer to wash her lamborghini with your tongue You say she used to be hot now she's just huge You tell her she's making the Hilton family stock plummet ou put out your fake police siren and pull her over for a pat down

you ask them to be one of the thousand points of light You compliment them on their white shirts and ask them when the next sale is. You say, at least your not a Scientologist You say, I'm one of the elect, so I might as well kill you now. I'll still be saved You tell them you've started a recycling program that will turn watchtower magazine into god's bonfire

you enlist it as part of your forest managery program you go get your tire jack and hope you can get the tree back on its feet you haul it off to the lumber mill and start a price war you say, "that darn gravity" you sigh and say, "if I wasn't hear would it make a sound?"

You make an anthropological study of the cave drawings inside you run for the jihad dynamite sticks You say, "you and Cro-Magnon Man are now best friends I presume." You say, "you tried to kill George's Daddy" you throw out the Geneva convention and run for the waterboard